13 Ideas That Will Make You A Better Husband Today

In the journey of marriage, a husband’s role goes beyond just being a companion. It’s also about being a source of support and strength for his wife. A wife is not just a partner but also a confidante, a friend, and a source of inspiration. Together, let’s explore the importance of being the best husband you can be and how a wife is truly the most significant asset a man can have. We’ll discuss the qualities that make a husband great, from communication and understanding to support and love. These qualities can make a marriage truly fulfilling. Join us as we celebrate the essence of marriage and the beauty of being the best husband for your wife.

If you ever ponder how to be a great husband, this content is for you.

Editorial Note: We earn a commission from partner links on The DoddFather. Commissions do not affect our editors’ opinions or evaluations. Learn more about our Editorial Process.

#1: Spirituality

-Prayer

It is said that couples who pray together have a stronger relationship. As a husband, you must lead your family in prayer. Even if you are not comfortable with it, try to practice it regularly. With time, you will find your way to communicate with God. Being a role model for your family in this aspect is a responsibility that a loving husband should not take lightly.

-Head of the Household

“For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.” Ephesians 5:23 ESV

The accuracy of the statistics below could be better. Regardless, it’s essential to be aware of the father’s impact on his family.

“When a father is the first in a household to become a Christian, there is a 97% chance that everyone else will follow. If a mother is the first in a household to become a Christian, there is only a 17% chance everyone will follow. As a mom, that is a tough pill to swallow!”

-Marriage is a Covenant Before God

The feelings of love can be fleeting, but it’s important to remember the promise you made to your spouse and what it represents to God once you say, “I do.” You vowed to love your partner for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.
Matthew 19:6: “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate”.

-Wife Submits to Husband When Husband Submits to God

It’s vital to receive discernment from something greater than oneself to gain the trust of others. Don’t expect your wife to mindlessly follow you and do what you say “because you said it.”

#2: Financial

-Budget

Pick a good budgeting tool like YNAB or use a simple Excel spreadsheet. Tell your dollars where to go cohesively. Adapt and make changes as appropriate. Nobody is perfect. But going 90% towards your intended direction for your family’s financial picture is undoubtedly better than winging it.

-Open Discussions

Open discussions about finances are crucial in a marriage. They help build trust, transparency, and shared goals. By openly discussing finances, couples can work together to create a solid financial plan, make informed decisions, and avoid conflicts.

-Financial Infidelity

Financial infidelity in a marriage occurs when one partner hides financial information, such as income, debts, or spending habits, from the other. This can include secret bank accounts, undisclosed purchases, or lying about financial matters. It erodes trust and can lead to severe issues within the relationship.

-Tithe

Throughout the Bible, there are numerous examples of tithing and sacrificing. God rewards the sacrifices made from the first fruits of our labor, the first and the best. See the story of Cain and Able in Genesis. We give to others because God has given to us.

#3: Gift Your Presence

-Put Your Phone Down

Making your partner feel valued and prioritized is crucial for a healthy relationship. Setting aside dedicated time without distractions can strengthen your bond and deepen your connection.
Your spouse should never feel like they come second to whatever is on your phone. Being present in the moment with your partner shows that you genuinely care and that they are the most important thing to you.

-List Oriented

If you tend to make to-do lists, include your family. Try an entry like “spend 3 hours with your daughter”. Be specific. Anything on the list without a date isn’t real.

#4: Value Her

– Shoulder the Burden

This behavior shows a willingness to go the extra mile to alleviate your partner’s stress or discomfort, even if it may not be your preferred task. Try cleaning that thing that she doesn’t like to clean—or taking the dog out before bedtime. Whatever the thing is, do it with a smile on your face. By taking on these responsibilities, you are not only lightening your spouse’s load but also strengthening your bond as a team.

– Listen, Don’t Always Try to Fix

Your spouse wants to be heard rather than treated like a problem to solve. They seek understanding, empathy, and validation. When your partner expresses their thoughts, feelings, and concerns, they are looking for a listening ear and a supportive presence. They want to feel that their emotions are acknowledged and their perspective is respected.
A woman doesn’t want to be fixed, and she definitely does not want to be treated like something to be solved. She wants to be seen, heard, loved, and known.

– No Scoreboard

Doing the dishes when it’s “not your turn” is a small but meaningful way to show love and consideration in a marriage. It’s about proactively helping your partner and sharing the load without keeping score. Eradicating the idea of “fairness” in a marriage shifts the focus from individual contributions to mutual support and care. Instead of tallying up who does what, both partners can freely give and receive, creating a more harmonious and giving relationship

-Be Nice to their Friends

Being nice to your spouse’s friends, simply because they are important to your spouse, is a small yet significant way to show respect and support for your partner. These friendships are meaningful to your spouse, and by being kind and welcoming to their friends, you are demonstrating your commitment to their happiness and well-being.

#5: Physical

-Exercise

Staying in good physical shape as a husband is important for several reasons:

• It allows you to maintain your health and well-being, ensuring you can be there for your spouse and family in the long run.
• Being physically fit can improve your confidence and self-esteem, positively impacting your relationship with your spouse. Promoting a healthy lifestyle also sets an excellent example for your children.
• Staying in shape can improve your energy levels and overall mood, making you a more enjoyable and active partner in your marriage.

What do you want your wife to see when she looks at you?

-Nutrition

Be mindful of what you are putting in your body. Your diet not only impacts your physical health but also your emotional well-being. Eating nutritious foods together can strengthen your bond and create positive habits that support a long and happy life together. Additionally, a healthy diet can boost your energy levels, improve your mood, and enhance your overall quality of life, allowing you to enjoy your time together as a couple fully.

-Bedroom

Please communicate with your partner about their preferences in the bedroom. Avoid assuming that you already know what they like. If there’s something specific they would like you to do more of, try to incorporate that into your intimate experiences.

-Dress Well

When you dress nicely, you show that you value your relationship enough to put effort into your appearance. It can also boost your confidence and self-esteem, which can positively impact your interactions with your spouse. Dressing well can keep the spark alive in your relationship by showing your partner that you still want to impress them.

#6: Outside Support

-The Importance of Men Having Friends

This provides a unique form of support and companionship. Male friendships offer a space for men to share experiences, seek advice, and receive emotional support in ways that may differ from their relationship with their spouse. These friendships can help men maintain a sense of individuality. Additionally, male friendships can provide a healthy outlet for socializing and engaging in activities that may not interest their spouse, promoting a well-rounded and fulfilling life.

-Find Your Lightning Rod

Your spouse is NOT your therapist. While a husband and wife should have open communication and share their thoughts and feelings, having an external outlet can provide a different perspective and prevent overwhelming one’s partner. A lightning rod, whether a trusted friend, family member, or therapist, can offer support, advice, and a listening ear, helping a husband navigate challenges and manage stress more effectively. This external outlet can strengthen a husband’s mental and emotional well-being, allowing him to be a more present and supportive partner in his marriage.

-Therapy

Therapy can provide a safe and confidential space for the husband to explore his feelings and emotions and gain insight into his behavior and patterns that may be negatively impacting the relationship. It can also help the husband to develop effective communication and conflict resolution skills, which are crucial for a healthy and successful marriage. By working with a therapist, the husband can become more aware of his needs and wants, as well as his partner’s, and learn how to balance them in a fair and respectful way.

-Self-Help Books

Self-help books can be invaluable resources for men in marriage. They offer insights, strategies, and tools to navigate challenges and improve relationships. These books can provide valuable perspectives on communication, emotional intelligence, and personal growth, helping men better understand themselves and their partners.

#7: Dates

-In-home

Scheduling regular at-home date nights with your spouse is crucial for nurturing your relationship and keeping the romance alive. In the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it’s easy to prioritize other responsibilities over quality time with your partner. However, setting aside dedicated time for just the two of you allows you to reconnect, communicate, and deepen your bond.

-Outing

Going out is vital to keeping your relationship strong and vibrant. These outings provide an opportunity to break away from the monotony of life and create lasting memories. Whether it’s a romantic dinner, a leisurely walk in the park, or an adventurous activity, spending quality time outside the home can reignite the spark in your relationship and reinforce your connection. It’s a chance to focus solely on each other, away from distractions, and rediscover the joy of being together.

-Find a Reliable and Trustworthy Babysitter

A good babysitter provides you and your spouse with much-needed time to focus on your relationship. It allows you to enjoy date nights, pursue hobbies, or simply unwind together. This time away from parenting responsibilities can rejuvenate your bond, strengthen your connection, and ultimately lead to a happier and more fulfilling marriage. A quality babysitter can be found through various mediums, including Facebook groups and the church community.

#8: Communication

-Share Your Excitement

Share your passion for the things that excite you, explaining why they are meaningful. Don’t leave your partner out of your interests. Remember that excitement and passion are contagious, so you can inspire and uplift those around you by sharing your enthusiasm.

-Write it Down

Before discussing your grievances with your spouse, consider writing them down. This simple exercise can help you realize that some or all of the issues bothering you may not be worth bringing up.

-Reflect

Reflect on moments that trigger you and explore them through introspection, therapy, or journaling. See what you can change internally.

-Don’t Let Work Dominate Your Conversations

Discussing work with your spouse when appropriate is important, but avoiding letting work dominate all your conversations is also essential. While sharing updates and seeking advice from your partner is natural, focusing solely on work topics can lead to feelings of neglect or disconnection.

-If It’s good, Say It

Don’t hesitate to give small, seemingly insignificant compliments. Let them know whether it’s their interior design skills, their breakfast choice, or how they handled a toddler tantrum. Be specific in your praise. Showing appreciation for these small moments can mean a lot and is essential in a relationship.

-Don’t Play Dumb

Before asking your spouse where something is in the house, try to find it yourself. You’re not clueless; you’re their partner.

#9: Respect

-Respect Respects Respect

Remember, respect begets respect; by treating your spouse with respect, you are likely to receive the same in return. It’s a two-way street.

-Family Matters

Support your spouse in family disagreements whenever feasible. If you anticipate a potential family dispute, discuss it in advance to align your perspectives. Plan how you’ll support each other, emphasizing teamwork and unity. This is an easy way to answer the question of “How can I be a better husband?”.

-Social Settings Support

Having your partner’s back in social settings is crucial for a healthy and supportive relationship. It means being attentive to their needs and feelings and stepping in to support and defend them when necessary. Knowing when to let things slide and when to speak up is vital. Sometimes, ignoring minor issues or misunderstandings is best to maintain harmony. However, if your partner is mistreated or disrespected, standing up for them and addressing the situation is important.

-Sexist Situations

When your spouse shares a story about a sexist experience, don’t assume the man in the story meant no harm. Support your spouse by discussing the situation with them and expressing your disapproval of the individual’s behavior.

-Don’t Diminish

Avoid dismissing your spouse’s perspective by trying to find a quick solution to their problems. Refrain from belittling their feelings by saying they’re overreacting or their concerns are unfounded. If they are experiencing certain thoughts or emotions, it is crucial to understand that those feelings are valid and should be respected. If it is important to her, it is important to us.

#10: Affection

– I Love You Journal

An I love you journal is a powerful way to nurture your relationship and cultivate a more profound appreciation. By reflecting on and writing down what you are grateful for about your spouse, you can shift your focus to the positive aspects of your relationship. This practice can help you become more mindful of the little things your spouse does that make your life better.
This idea is inspired by Dan Miller, creator of 48 Days to the Work and Life You Love. Rest in Peace, Dan.

-PDA

Understanding your spouse’s preferences regarding public displays of affection (PDA) is essential for respecting their boundaries and making them feel comfortable. Some people enjoy PDA as it makes them feel loved and connected, while others prefer more private expressions of affection. It is helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your spouse about their feelings towards PDA and to respect their preferences. By being mindful of your spouse’s comfort level, you can ensure that your displays of affection are enjoyable and meaningful for both of you.

-Own Your Love Story

Take on the role of preserving your love story. Occasionally, indulge in nostalgia about your relationship. Reflect on the memories of how you first met. Dust off the wedding album and relive those moments. Share these memories with friends and loved ones, keeping the essence of your relationship alive.

-Flirt With Them

Flirting in a marriage is more than just fun; it’s a powerful way to keep the spark alive. It shows your partner that you still find them attractive and desirable, strengthening your bond and connection. Flirting can also reignite feelings of passion and excitement, helping to keep the romance alive in your relationship. So don’t be afraid to flirt with your spouse; it can be a playful and enjoyable way to show them how much you love and appreciate them.

#11: Qualities

-Be Decisive

Make a decision and own it. If it turns out to be the wrong decision, apologize for it. Let your spouse make a decision when it’s up to them. Know the difference. Andy Andrews, author of Time Travelers Gift, goes into depth on this topic with Decision 4 – I have a Decided Heart(Insert link here https://www.nhbr.com/7-decisions-for-success/)

-Be Kind

Always choose kindness in your marriage, even when the world around you can be harsh. Your relationship should be a sanctuary of love and support, where kindness reigns supreme. Treat your spouse with compassion, empathy, and understanding; your marriage will thrive amidst life’s challenges.

-Be Positive. Leave the Negative Energy Outside

Be mindful of the energy you bring home, especially with your spouse. Stress can cloud our judgment, leading to negativity in our relationships. However, by staying aware of your stress levels, you can take proactive steps to avoid bringing unnecessary tension into your home. (https://www.mamasaysnamaste.com/engaging-all-the-senses/)

-Be Presentable(Look good, Feel good, Play good)

Put effort into your appearance. Regularly shave or groom your beard. Dress nicely and avoid looking unkempt. No one wants to be with someone who looks sloppy all the time.

#12: Awareness

-Balance Emotional Labor

The mental workload of managing a household and family—planning, scheduling, and so on—is often shouldered primarily by one partner. However, this work, while crucial, is frequently unseen or undervalued. Avoid falling into this trap. Even if you split the physical housework and childcare tasks equally, recognize that your spouse’s role in organizing doctor’s appointments, play dates, and children’s activities requires time and mental effort that should not be overlooked or taken for granted.

-Notice Hunger and Respond Accordingly

If you prepare something for yourself, whether it’s tea, a sandwich, or a cocktail, offer to make one for your spouse. If they feel irritable due to hunger (hangry) and claim they don’t want anything, but you sense they do, consider bringing them a snack or drink anyway.

-Expectations Breed Resentment

Let go of unrealistic expectations for your partner, as this can lead to resentment. Remember, your partner is the same person you fell in love with. Please avoid falling into the trap of expecting your partner to change fundamental aspects of themselves, which is not realistic or healthy.

-Respect Boundaries

Boundaries help define individual needs, limits, and expectations, fostering mutual respect and understanding between partners. By communicating and respecting each other’s boundaries, couples can build trust, enhance communication, and create a safe and secure environment where both partners can thrive personally and within the relationship.

#13: Resilience

-Be Flexible

Stay adaptable. Life is full of unexpected challenges. Partners must recognize that they can’t predict everything and must be ready to respond with flexibility.

-Don’t Be So Defensive

Eliminate defensiveness. It’s a learned behavior that can hinder growth and damage marriages. Try to recognize and address this behavior to foster understanding and strengthen your relationship.

-Value The Relationship Over Being Right

Remember that a relationship is not about winning arguments. Putting the relationship first is more important than being right. When couples respect each other, they can prioritize maintaining a healthy balance over the need to be correct.

-Don’t Sweep It Under The Rug. Move Forward.

Learn to move past arguments, disagreements, and conflicts. While these are inevitable in any relationship, a strong and happy marriage is characterized by the ability to resolve disputes and repair the relationship afterward.

 

Frequently Asked Questions:

• How can I be a better husband?

Strive to understand, support, and cherish your spouse every day.

• How can I be a great husband?

Be attentive, empathetic, and supportive, always striving to understand and fulfill your spouse’s needs and desires.

• What does a loving husband look like?

A loving husband is supportive, empathetic, and respects his partner’s needs and feelings.

• Can husband and wife work together?

Yes, but be mindful of the pitfalls such as blurring of boundaries, power dynamics, and work-life balance

• Can husband drinking cause miscarriage?

Alcohol consumption by the father is generally not associated with an increased risk of miscarriage. However, heavy and frequent alcohol consumption by either partner during pregnancy can increase the risk of miscarriage and other complications.

• Will husband and wife still be married in heaven?

The concept of marriage in heaven is a topic that varies in interpretation among different religious beliefs. Some believe that marriages will continue in heaven, while others believe that earthly relationships, including marriage, will not exist in the same way in the afterlife.

• Why husband yells at me

It could be due to stress, frustration, poor communication skills, or unresolved issues. Yelling is often a reaction to feeling overwhelmed or not being heard. It’s important to address this behavior calmly and constructively.

• Why husband hates wife

Hatred may be too strong a word, and it might be more accurate to say that a husband is experiencing strong negative emotions towards his wife due to unresolved conflicts, unmet needs, or deep-seated issues. It’s crucial for both partners to communicate openly and seek professional help if needed to address and resolve these issues in a healthy manner.

• Husband who is narcissistic

It’s important to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, seek support from trusted friends or a therapist, and consider couples therapy if both partners are willing.

• Which husband will I be with in heaven?

In many belief systems, including Christianity, it’s believed that in heaven, relationships will be transformed and perfected, and individuals will experience a profound, unconditional love for all. Specific details about relationships in the afterlife are often considered mysteries beyond our current understanding. It’s a deeply personal and spiritual question that may be best explored through prayer, reflection, and guidance from one’s faith tradition.

• Where husband and wife will find happiness

Husband and wife will find happiness by prioritizing communication, understanding, and mutual respect, and by supporting each other through life’s joys and challenges.

• When husband dies

When a husband dies, it can be a deeply emotional and challenging experience for the wife. She may experience grief, sadness, and a sense of loss as she navigates life without her partner. She may also face practical challenges and adjustments as she learns to cope with the absence of her husband and navigate her new circumstances. It’s important for her to seek support from loved ones and professionals to help her through the grieving process.

• When husband ignores wife

When a husband ignores his wife, it can be a sign of various issues such as communication problems, emotional distance, or personal stress.

• What husband should do when wife is pregnant

During pregnancy, a husband should be supportive and understanding of his wife’s physical and emotional changes. He can help by attending prenatal appointments, assisting with household tasks, and providing emotional reassurance and encouragement. It’s important to communicate openly, listen to her needs, and be patient and empathetic throughout the pregnancy journey.

• What husband means

The term “husband” typically refers to a married man in a relationship with a woman, where they are legally bound as spouses. The role of a husband often involves providing emotional support, sharing responsibilities, and contributing to the well-being of the family unit.

• What husband needs from his wife

A husband may need various things from his wife depending on the individual and the dynamics of their relationship. Common needs might include love, respect, emotional support, communication, intimacy, and partnership in managing household and family responsibilities.

• How husband should treat wife

A husband should treat his wife with love, respect, and kindness. He should listen to her, support her, and make her feel valued and appreciated. It’s important to communicate openly, share responsibilities, and prioritize the well-being and happiness of the marriage. A husband should also be loyal, trustworthy, and committed to building a strong and lasting relationship with his wife.

• How husband treat wife Bible

In the Bible, husbands are instructed to treat their wives with love, respect, and honor. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This verse emphasizes sacrificial love and selflessness in marriage. Colossians 3:19 also advises husbands to not be harsh with their wives but to treat them with understanding and respect. Overall, the Bible teaches that husbands should cherish and care for their wives as their own bodies, reflecting the love and grace shown by Christ.

• How husband and wife sleep

How a husband and wife sleep can vary greatly depending on their personal preferences and circumstances. Some couples may choose to sleep in the same bed, while others may opt for separate beds or even separate bedrooms. Factors such as sleep habits, comfort levels, and health considerations can all play a role in how couples decide to sleep. The most important thing is that both partners feel comfortable and get the rest they need for a healthy relationship.